The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize