these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
