Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
