I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
only if we run a train.
done.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
