yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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