My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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