i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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