In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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