I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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