Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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