I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
