Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
