Tell her she can't have a vagina
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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