PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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