Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize