plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
