well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
