Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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