Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
