Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
