haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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