FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
