Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
