So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
