Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
