omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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