I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize