I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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