it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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