Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
one might say we're banned from that church
I could make wine with my vomit
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
