At least make sure they are 18
Why
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
