True but thats because hes a fetus.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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