I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
