I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
