he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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