dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
