It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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