32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
