carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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