no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
