I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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