I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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