Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
