I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
