There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
