I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
