just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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