I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You're like the curious george of whores
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
