Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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