hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
