I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
