When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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