A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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