You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
