There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
