physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
