Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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