Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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