I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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