You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
That accounts for only three of the penises
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
