I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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