I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
