So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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