I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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