yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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