Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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