Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
